I am SO Excited!

I'll admit - I have an obsessive type personality.

When we moved into our current home, it was only a few days and I had everything unpacked.

And sometimes when I get involved in a good book, I obsess about it and nothing around home gets done until I have finished reading it.

Or when I've gone through my scrapbooking phases, it was weeks before I saw the bottom of the table again.

Or like when I was introduced to Gilmore Girls in their 6th season and I discovered the local library carried the complete DVD set. It took me only one month to watch all the episodes from the beginning starting with season 1.

Or like when I am hit by the writing bug, or cleaning bug, it's all that I do for awhile. But sometimes when the passion for these things strike, I do produce my best writings, cleaning, organizing, scrapbooking, etc. and I am left with a euphoric feeling over my great accomplishments. It's a type of satisfying productivity beyond compare in just any ordinary day.

Some of these obsessions are short lived. And then others continue on, without ceasing, like blogging for example. I have been hooked on blogging for over two years now.

There is another obsession of mine that just doesn't seem to die either. The art in taking pictures. I would use the word photography but truthfully, there is more of a finesse in that, and where I am at right now the phrase 'taking pictures' feels more fitting.

This obsession of mine has been in full bloom for the past six months and continues to deepen a passion within me. The more I learn the more passionate I become.

This past winter I took engagement photos for friends of ours. We had so much fun and I loved playing "photographer" for the day.

I created a watermark using the word photography behind my name for posting the images on the web. It was exciting to see such a title next to my personal name but it felt strange too. The level of perfection that I place over this artistic field would say that I have not quite earned that title yet. But a watermark that says "Kristen Stamm Photo Taker" doesn't sound so elegant, does it?

So I keep working.

Keep learning.

Keep perfecting.

I've searched the web, joined a few photography forums, and even taken the geeky step of reading my camera's manual *eek*.

It was about a half a year ago I lost my training wheels, a.k.a. the automatic mode dial. For 6 months I have been learning to power my camera by my own knowledge - shutter speed, aperture, and ISO to meter the shots the way I want them to turn out.

I've also been blessed to have befriended some professional photographers that have been extending their help to me. I even had the honor of assisting one in her studio, a newborn twin photo shoot. Oh la la, it was amazing!

And I've volunteered to take the cast's photographs for a local community theater.

With all of the reading, experience, and education I have gained thus far I have learned that I know very little about photography. That intrigues me...and intimidates me too, a flaw of character of mine that with maturity I am learning to harness and not let it stop me from achieving my dreams.

Back in October, I wrote about this pursuit of a dream - the dream to be a professional photographer.

Maybe it'll happen someday.

Maybe it won't.

But it's truly not the title of Professional that I seek. There's many definitions out there of what a true professional photographer really is and how to achieve it. But what I seek after is the love and enjoyment in the ability to capture life and do it well. It's been fulfilling to do it for my own family and the dream of doing it for others, well that only gives this passion more life.

This dream of mine has been building for months now until my dear husband finally told me, "Kill the fear and just do it already!"

I love him so much for that!

So I am thrilled! I feel like I can take my 'photography' to a whole new level and I can't wait! I have butterflies in my belly as I write this, announcing that I am in the stages of building my Photography Portfolio (Ah that's exciting for me to say)!

Will you let me take your portraits?

By helping me build my portfolio, I am waiving my session fee and will give you a $50 print credit . And if you wish to order additional prints I'll even give you a great deal on those too.

**This offer is good while I am building my Photography Portfolio and is subject to change at any time. Then the price of my sitting fee will take effect and all photo purchases will return to full price.**

Send me an email to book your session now:

kris_lmt@yahoo.com

Cayman's New Ride

I know what you might be thinking...

"It's the wrong car seat!! It's not suppose to be pink and brown. What happened to the pink, purple, and gray one?"
Well, I know I had written very specifically about having my eye on that one.

But it's a long story.

And quite frankly, it's not that interesting so I'll spare this post of boredom.

And leave you with just saying that I think this pink and brown pattern is working out beautifully. Not only because it truly is gorgeous in person but because Cayman's dirty smudge finger marks (from eating snacks on-the-go, how cute is that?) is better hidden in the dark brown than it would have been in the light gray.

After all, isn't half of smart parenting in knowing all the fancy "tricks" to disguising the messes our children can make?

:)

I love the built-in cup holders. On the long trip to Ann Arbor this week I placed Cayman's bottle in one of them. When she got thirsty, it was conveniently at her fingertips.

However, she thinks it's way more fun to throw the bottle across the vehicle than to gently place it back in the cup holder. To those of us sitting in the front seats, that's another perk of her being rear-facing.

Shootin' the Breeze

Audiology

We returned to the Audiologist's office yesterday.

A clinic hearing test and a tympanogram were conducted.

The results suggest there to be a problem.

Mild.

Nothing we feel great concern over.

But definitely worth checking into further.

Clearly, Cayman can hear. That is evident. But it seems her hearing might not be as sharp as it should be.

So over the next following month she will have more appointments. One with an ENT (Ears Nose and Throat) doctor. He will diagnosis or scratch off any middle ear problems. Then after that, an ABR (Auditory Brainstem Response) hearing test which will be performed under sedation.

The beautiful thing about keeping all of Cayman's medical care (minus pediatrician) at U of M, about a two hour drive away for us, is their ability in coordinating procedures. So while Cayman has her routine CT scan of her head, which will be under sedation, they can also perform the ABR test at that corresponding time.

Two tests. One time sedated.

Sounds good to us.

I bought Cayman a toy Doctor kit.

Over the next few weeks we'll be playing with it a lot in preparation for these upcoming ear appointments. Specifically with the toy otoscope.

I will let her "look" into my ears and I then will "look" into hers.

Practice is the goal in teaching her that it's safe.

That way (hopefully) she won't fight the ear doctors like she did yesterday. She was not a happy camper. If you aren't touching her ears for the pure purpose of massaging them, then she holds a strict 'no touch' policy.

A little of my heart breaks when we have to hold her down yet another part rejoices that my little girl has spunk!

Baby Dreams

Fine concentration does not exist.

Not lately.

Day and Night I dream.

Dream of Babies.

On my mind.

On my heart.

One particular.

Our next.

I can't help but wonder and hope, will it ever be?

We've wondered if we could, if we should have more kids.

The heart never stops longing. Never stops wondering. Never stops hoping.

Maybe, just maybe God has a plan that we can't see yet.

Another dream waiting to come true?

Another miracle to happen?

But if not, He will bestill this ache in my heart.

I have faith of that.

Cayman, my everyday reminder of God's showers of blessings!

Pediatric Massage Therapy

I'm a Licensed Massage Therapist...I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned that before on the blog. I have been now for seven years. It is a rewarding line of work.

I am not full time at it anymore. Perhaps someday again. Being a mom is my full time career right now. But as a mom, I have continued my career of massage therapy by doting on my little Cayman with massages.

Before she came along, I had zero experience with Pediatric massage. I had only worked on teens and adults. My familiarity was mainly with athletes - body builders, marathoners, triathlon-ers (is that even a word?) - those kinds of the sorts.

It's funny to think about how intimidated I felt in the beginning when working on Cayman.

While she was in the NICU, Mike and I signed up for the hospital's class on infant massage. I felt excited to be a part of this class. I wanted to put my hands to work helping my little girl with the benefits I have come to know through massage therapy.

Besides the obvious worth of relaxation and stress reduction, I also read that pediatric massage can have a plethora of advantages and specifically these were the ones that stood out to me for Cayman's needs:

• Improve muscle tone
• Enhance body awareness
• Increase bonding and attachment
• Scar tissue adhesion reduction
• Trust building
• Immune boosting

Massaging Cayman has been fun. It's made me entertain the idea of branching my field of work toward pediatrics in the future.

Besides just the physiological benefits of massage therapy, I have desired for Cayman to truly enjoy it, not just endure it. I think she does. Of course I don't know that for sure since she can't tell me herself. Typically in a therapy session I like to ask a series of questions to learn more about a client's needs and their reactions to the treatment.

But Cayman can't tell me exactly what she's thinking.

So I watch for other signs like her facial expressions or even breathing patterns to determine her opinions. If she's willing to allow me to massage her, I take that to mean she likes it. But her attention span is short and a massage session never last long before she's pushing my hands away. So I've never really known for sure if she likes it or not.

A massage therapist friend of mine once told me of the techniques she found useful to ease the discomfort of teething for her nephew. So I started doing the same for Cayman many months back when she started to cut her first tooth at 11 months of age.

And when Cayman started bringing in her second year molars recently, I did not even notice until she started to place her little hands on her cheeks and rub them.

She was massaging herself. How cute!

It made my heart swell with pride to see her do that.

And if that wasn't enough to make my heart burst, this next thing sure did...

Cayman rolled over next to me on the floor one day. While still laying down, she lifted her legs up in the air toward me and pushed her hands up and down her calf, rubbing it.

I smile!

Then I got out my special oil and I massaged her legs until she let me know she had enough by pushing my hands away.

After that I felt fully confident in saying...

Cayman loves being massaged!!

Massaging her face.

I recommend reading:

Children and Massage
A Powerful Combination
by Shirley Vanderbilt

and

TherExtras: Massage
by Dr. Boucher

Giving Walking a Try

crawling

Here's a clip-it of our little crawler on the first day when she started doing this...

michigan in the Bathroom

Blue and Maize Ones Thrown into the Bathroom...

...by Cayman...

...Now was that a coincidence?...

...Or did Daddy teach her that?...

Cayman Prefers to Feed Herself

Feeding time has become a frustrating time for this mama.

When Cayman does want to eat, she prefers to feed herself. That's the positive side of things. She's been aspiring independence in this area. It's a beautiful thing. A blessing really. Another one of our everyday miracles. But there's some challenges that have come along with it that has left this little mama feeling strained.

Cayman eats so slow. I think she gets bored before she even fills up and then begins to get ornery about meal time. She flings food, throws her fork, or dumps her bowl over the side. Sometimes she even uses her messy utensils to comb her hair.

All part of being a toddler that is two I understand.

So much of meal time is me trying to keep her focused to continue eating and not play with her food. And Heaven forbid if the Mommy tries to feed Cayman. She'll spit out every one of those bites. So I've learned to put my hand over top of hers that is holding the spoon and guide each bite into her mouth so she still feels like she's in control. This works for a little while until that devious spark in her eye returns, a grin stretches across her face, and that little tongue sticks out from her mouth spitting...no, it's more like spraying the food all over me. Then she laughs. And not just any laugh. It's a laugh that comes straight from the depth of her belly and it drips with pure orneriness.

To be honest, it takes every part of me to not crack up too. Who would have ever thought, this little girl, born with only a tiny ribbon of brain matter, could have so much personality and silliness?

But no matter how cute she is about it, she must learn that that is not proper meal time manners. We are not a family of baboons - well most of us anyways. :)

But like I said, that's more of the positive side of the meal time frustrations. I have the patience to deal with that kind of stuff.

Where I begin to grow inpatient is when I fear setbacks for Cayman. I feel anxious about the amount of food she is actually ingesting. Dropping in L.B's is not a good thing for the already tiny Cayman. She's a little peanut. At her two year wellness check up, she weighed in at 19 lbs. 8 oz. I heard the notorious [friendly] lecture from her pediatrician about that. We talked about ways on increasing her caloric intake and gaining weight.

That's superb but only works when your child actually eats!

I've been trying to break the meal times down and feed her small amounts but more often throughout the day. This actually works the best but is the very part that is straining on me.

It seems right when I get started on a cleaning project, some other day task, errand, or staying on track with our appointment schedule, I get interrupted by this new feeding agenda. It's been difficult trying to get anything accomplished when stopping to feed my little toddler every 2-3 hours that eats at the speed of a snail.

Truthfully, Cayman hasn't been on the weight charts since she was only a couple months old. But I've never felt anxious about it because I had the confidence that her intake was a healthy amount. She's typically a good little eater.

But lately I'm losing that confidence. With her new found ability in crawling and mobile independence, she is very active. High activity requires more calories and she's been taking in less than her normal. Plus she needs her strength and weight gain as I foresee another surgery in the near future. (More on that another time).

See why I feel concerned?

I'm really hoping it's just a teething thing. She's popping in three of her pearly whites right now. Her crabbiness reveals to me that they are bothering her. So hopefully this phase will pass and she'll be back to eating like a champion again soon.

This mama's nerves would really appreciate it!

Oh, sweet independence you are so yummy...

and Messy too!

Hands and Knees Crawling

She's doing it!!

Cayman's crawling!

I have a little girl that crawls!

It's so adorable. It's so wondrous. It's so normal. It's so miraculous.

I feel exhilaration!

Another milestone!

Another miracle!

Just in case I forgot to mention it...

We are enjoying Spring!

Long Legs

If those legs are any indication of how tall she's going be...

Then I would say she's going to be quite tall when she grows up.

Such Love

Sometimes love means wanting to make the best home possible for his wife...

Sometimes love means seeing those areas that can be made better and following through to make them happen...

At times that means such love will be motivated to get up and work on his free Saturdays (including on his own birthday) to tear out old cabinets, mop a dirty basement floor, sweep up the cobwebs.

Such love listens to his wife's fear of low profile, open beam basement ceilings. And when there's no possible way of installing drywall or a drop ceiling, love sometimes means going to the drawing board to find another way to make it comfortable for his wife so she can do laundry with less fear.

Such love he demonstrates to me while he exhausts his arms spray painting every ceiling beam of our basement that has always felt to me like it had all the cinder-block charm of a prison cell to now give it a more fresh, bright, breezy feel.




I appreciate the man I've got!

Happy Birthday Mike

I am celebrating today...

...For on this day, 30 years ago, one of the greatest of my every day miracles began...

...It was 15 months before I was even born...

...Mike was born...

...Real, true, agape love is what he gives our little family...

...And it continues to grow, teach, and nurture me...

...Forever, it will be him and only him for me...

Happy Birthday Mike! My heart celebrates today with a fullness of joy that was completed in me when you entered my life.

Always,

Kristen

Things that Make Cayman Laugh

Emptying Cayman's bathtub always makes her laugh...

In this second video, the details might not be easy to view, so let me give your eye direction on what to look for. Cayman let's one go in the bath tub. You know what I mean right?...cuts the cheese, breaks wind....toots. The bubbles rise up between her legs. She looks down noticing them right away and then begins to laugh about it...

An open case stairway does not make Cayman laugh, but let it be in a stairway that has walls on both sides and she thinks it's a hilarious descending journey!

Other things that make Cayman laugh or smile are:

~driving over the rumble strips on a highway

~the theme song to "House"

~when daddy "eats" her rib meat

~burping

Jill and Matthew's Visit

I have so many pictures and memories I could share from the days Jill and Matthew stayed with us. I've sat staring at this computer screen, trying to figure out where to begin, what to write, how to share all that my mind and heart is holding onto from the precious four days I had with Jill and Matthew.

I could tell you all about how adorable Matthew is and how much he's grown since I saw him last August. I could tell you about how he snuggles right into your arms when you hold him. I could even tell you about how hard I worked to get him to smile for me like he does with a simple call of his name from his mommy.

I could tell you about how late Jill and I stayed up every night.

I could tell you about how many hint bombs Mike dropped on Jill for her to mow to the lawn so he wouldn't have to. I could tell you about the teasing wars between the two of them over the fact that Jill calls pop soda and Mike thinks that sounds funny.

I could tell you about how Cayman laughed when Matthew cried (she's not a very sympathetic girlfriend).

I could tell you about how Jill got Cayman all hyper right before we left for the airport and she laughed, snorted, and kicked her feet for nearly the whole 2 hour drive.

I could spend a long time telling you about Jill and why she is simply amazing to be with.

So many fun memories we made in just a few short days.

But instead of writing a post that would take you through next week to finish reading it, I will simply take you on a picture tour of our time together...

The two little kiddos looked adorable in their car seats next to each other.

After picking up Jill and Matthew from the airport, we made a stop at our favorite sushi restaurant to devour those yummy rolls of rice stuffed full of seafood and veggies.

Mike, the chopstick tooth walrus, is always more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

On one of the days, my mom (Grandma Cindy) and Madison came over.

Madison suggested we walk to the park to play.

So she fearlessly led the way...

Walking to the park.



Cayman's first time swinging all by herself.



It was indefinitely amusing watching Madison push Mike in the disc swing.





Matthew wasn't always feeling the best. He got sick on the plane coming here and that made him sleep a lot.

When he wasn't sleeping, we tried to get the kiddos to play together.

It was a Love-Hate relationship though.

Matthew seemed to be more fond of Cayman than she was of him.

Allow me to show you...

Here's some of the Love...

Playing Peek-a-Boo

Sweet encouragement from Cayman as Matthew worked hard to hold his head up.


A big smile on Matthew's face as he turned to look at Cayman in the direction that is typically not his favorite side to turn to.


Isn't that the look of a little guy completely smitten?


He didn't even seem to mind when Cayman pulled his hair.





Now, allow me to show you some of the hate...

There were times they did not want to even look at each other.

The look here on Cayman's face says, "Geesh, this guy's kind of boring. He fell asleep."

They had their first co-ed bath.
(Daddy said that will be Cayman's last)

Jill's skilled hands made Cayman a weighted blanket, filled with poly pellets, giving the blanket a certain heaviness to it that is known to be relaxing and calming.

Here are the kiddos snuggled in their car seats with their weighted blankets ready for the trip back to the airport.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ C.S. Lewis