Baby Dreams

Monday, April 26, 2010

Fine concentration does not exist.

Not lately.

Day and Night I dream.

Dream of Babies.

On my mind.

On my heart.

One particular.

Our next.

I can't help but wonder and hope, will it ever be?

We've wondered if we could, if we should have more kids.

The heart never stops longing. Never stops wondering. Never stops hoping.

Maybe, just maybe God has a plan that we can't see yet.

Another dream waiting to come true?

Another miracle to happen?

But if not, He will bestill this ache in my heart.

I have faith of that.

Cayman, my everyday reminder of God's showers of blessings!

14 Showin' Comment Love:

Cayman's Daddy said...

Another Punkin? WAHOOO!!!! :)

Sue said...

This reminds me so much of me....years ago. We were told by a doc that we would not be having any babies, so were thrilled when we got what we thought was our one miracle baby....then we had 3 more! I understand the longing, and wondering...totally. Sometimes it would be nice to have that 'crystal ball' to know what the future holds...but then we really want to know!? Keeping you in my thoughts!

Anonymous said...

A friend of mine here in Australia, her first child was born with Quad Cerebral Palsy and she too was anxious about having more babes, but did end up having another babe and she is so glad she did. She always says for herself it helped heal alot of the ache she had.

It is a very personal decision but felt I had to let you know about my friend.

Hugs Kristen xxx

Grandma S said...

I'll babysit! :)

Josephine said...

Well, I do so hope that another sweet little baby is what God has in mind for you. I can tell you from my experience that having another (and soon another again!) has only multiplied the joy we have in our little family! Yes, you will be more aware of the hardships Cayman has endured, but it will only make you love her more! And you will appreciate everything that comes so easily to the "normal" little baby than any "normal" parent possibly could! I love Avery even more because of Brogan, and I love Brogan even more because of Avery, and I love my husband even more because of both of them!!! It's a lot of love :)

Tiffany said...

Praying for guidance for you!!! You should be blessed with another to love!!

Shannon said...

Praying for your heart and for peace no matter where the Lord leads you!

Gretchen said...

adoption? :)

Sheila Smith said...

What you shared made me think of the scripture I John 5:14-15 "This is the confidence that we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us - whatever we ask - we know that we have what we asked of him." I think sometimes people interpret the "asking according to his will" part as "if it's God's will, then He'll give it to us"... Well God created family! So we can be assured that of course he wants us to have that and desire that! I wonder if maybe that verse means "if we ask according to His WILL FOR ASKING" as in the WAY that we ask for something.... Do we ask EXPECTING that He really will hear us and give us WHATEVER we ask for?!?! We don't have to ever worry about asking for "too much" or "what if it's selfish to ask for this" or "what if that's not what God wants".... He said, "Kids, I love ya! The sky's the limit!! Ask me for anything!!!" There's alot of freedom and peace in that.... :) I pray that there are no fears or worrying in your open-ended, "sky's the limiit" prayers to God!! May your faith and trust in Him be even BIGGER than the sky! Because He's just THAT BIG! Love you!!!

The Soldatke family said...

I can't wait to see what God has in store for your family. I cannot wait to see your family (and maybe you??) grow :)

Lisa said...

Such tender thoughts and feelings.

You and Mike are such wise, devoted, and loving parents to Cayman. I certainly hope that another child will have the blessing of belonging to your little family.

Praying that you will find peace and answers in all that you desire.


SuzanSayz said...

I will never understand how unfair the universe is. Horrible, repugnant, drug addicted women get pregnant and furnish their child with a life of pure hell and misery, while wonderful loving women who have so much to offer a child wait and wait. I know that God has given us our agency and that because of this these kinds of things plague our world but Kristen if it was up to me I would send you as many little ones as your heart and home could hold. You are in my heart!

Gabriella said...

Wishing you what your heart desires.

Andy and Jenni said...

Sometimes I feel guilty that I want when I already have. Thank you for being honest here...