16 weeks Preganant

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I am certainly over-due to write an update about the baby that is growing in my belly. The weeks just keep going by. But you know what that means...

Time flying by = Pregnancy flying by

And the second time around, it is certainly feeling quick. I am sure I can give Cayman quite a bit of credit for that. She keeps me on my toes! And the fact that this pregnancy will end at 8 months and not 9 months makes me almost at the half way point already!

My last OB appointment was four weeks ago. I was 12 weeks pregnant then. My mom came with me. Mike worked. We have had a slew of doctor appointments for Cayman this summer and Mike's work has graciously allowed him to come along to most of them. But that makes for some busy days when he does return to work and his strong loyalty toward his job keeps him mindful about not falling behind {just another something I love about him}.

With the appointments being located up in Ann Arbor it's not as simple as taking an extra long lunch during work to attend the doctor's appointment and then return for the rest of the day. The distance between our home and our medical care facility pretty much turns it into an all day event with the four hour round trip drive. And so we decided it was best for Mike to just go to work that day since my OB appointment was simply going to be a regular, boring pre-natal check up - weight, blood pressure, pee in a cup. Just the mundane stuff. Well besides hearing the baby's heart beat. There's nothing boring about that. And I promised Mike I would have my mom video it so he would not completely miss it.

The appointment turned out to be less boring than I expected, which ended with a phone call to Mike in my most happy, hyper voice telling him all about it! Poor man, I could hear in his tone through his excited words that he longed to be there with us. It's in those kind of moments in life when you wish just blinking an eye could bring someone instantly next to your side.

So let me tell you about the fun appointment. An unexpected ultrasound was performed. The baby seemed to be hiding lower than the doctor initially expected so the doppler ultrasound failed to pick up the heart beat. I felt calm still. The doppler never worked on me when I was pregnant with Cayman so it wasn't of great surprise to me when the doctor searched and searched and found no baby. Even with my smaller frame, my tipped uterus is too far from the surface for the doppler to pick up any baby sounds.

Things run a little differently in the high risk clinic. In my pregnancy with Cayman, before the findings of her diagnosis, the doctor never fussed over the inability to find a heart beat on the doppler. I was always sent away being told that sometimes it's normal and nothing to worry about, which was still true in my case. The lack of heart beat found through the doppler had nothing to do with Cayman's diagnosis. It just made for boring OB appointments every month. It's always a delightful experience when you get to hear that little one's heart beating.

But in the high risk clinic, they don't send you out that door until they've thoroughly checked things out. So when the doppler failed to record a heart beat, that's when the ultrasound machine was brought out.

The doctor confidently found the heart beat on the ultrasound's monitor. When I saw the black and white flickering of pixels signifying my baby's heart beating, I did breath in a little deeper and easier.

There it was, just living away and strongly beating in the 150's.

And if that wasn't enough to get my blood flowing, the rest of the scene before me sure did. Little baby was doing all sorts of jumps, leaps, and movements. It was so entertaining!

I found it to feel more reassuring to me than anything. Cayman did not move much in the womb. Maybe that had nothing to do with her ill-forming body, or perhaps it had everything to do with it. Her brain was squished under the pressure of a lot fluid inside her head. The lack of her fetal movements always felt to me like the two were related.

12 weeks


I am 16 weeks pregnant now. I have been feeling baby movements here and there (started about a few weeks ago). It's sporadic though and I am uber-eager for this little one to make a routine of it! The movements of a baby in the womb are intimate, reassuring, and beautiful. And right now my desire to start doing that dance with our little one is on my mind even more than the upcoming anatomy ultrasound, which is in just two weeks.

It's hard for me to realize that the 2nd trimester ultrasound is almost upon us already. It feels like such a big milestone in a pregnancy. I'll be 18 weeks then. The doctor presented the option to schedule the ultrasound at the earliest of 16 weeks for a sooner calming of the curiosity of getting the baby's developing progress checked out. They can see everything well except the chambers of the heart so a repeat ultrasound would need to be done later when the baby is larger.

While I do love getting as many peeks at my baby that I can, Mike and I decided not to do the earlier ultrasound. Mainly for the reason that I did not even want to haggle into the phone call to the insurance company to see if they would pay for two ultrasounds in the second trimester. I have a strong love-hate relationship with them. I appreciate all that our insurance has paid for. The numbers are overwhelming to Cayman's medical care. That's the love part.

The hate has come in the countless phone calls I have made to them over the last two years getting denied claims straightened out. It must be in their job description to give people the run around first before accepting a claim.

Plus for my own heart's sake, I do not feel a strong need to do a sooner ultrasound. Eighteen weeks feels more than soon enough. If there is something there that is just not quite going well with the baby, I would rather wait a bit longer before I find out. That's not because I feel a great anxiety that something is wrong, but it is a reality I know well. I just desire to soak in all the bliss, and nothing more.

I took a belly shot this week.

16 weeks

I'm getting a [little] annoyed that this so-called "bump" really just looks like an exaggerated and unflattering pooch. It's not that coveted little, "Oh look, she's pregnant!" mound. It's more of a flabby lump that makes an appearance saying, "That girl needs to get her rear to the gym and work off that baby fat!" But then that annoyance is followed by the confirmation that a bigger belly now means an even much, much bigger belly in the end. And I remember well the misery a big belly was on my sweet, enduring spine. So the day will come soon enough when my baby bump fills out those maternity shirts in a more fashionable way.

Here are some growth updates this week {from TheBump.com}:


Baby's now the size of an avocado! Watch what you say...tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean she can now pick up your voice. A few more minuscule changes: Eyebrows, lashes, and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

Trampoline

Nearby neighbors of ours have a trampoline and Cayman has a good time over there playing on it. Recently, friends of ours caught wind of that little fact and dug out of their basement storage their college son's old trampoline and lovingly gifted it to Cayman. So now she has her very own in the backyard.

Does she love it?

Indeed! My patio door windows that look out over the backyard are full of tiny fingerprints from where she presses up against the glass to stare out at her beloved trampoline.







"Thanks Kevin and Barb! You have made a little girl very happy!"

My Lovely Friday Afternoon

Friday, August 27, 2010

I peek into her room. It's nap time. And she is fast asleep cuddling her favorite toys.


So precious that little girl is.

Cayman Gets Down...I don't mean in 'dancing'

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Cayman can go from here...


To here...


All by herself. On purpose. And I do mean without tumbling or falling.

Watch the skillful coordination...

Getting turned around.



Lay down on tummy.



Swing the feet around.



Slide down.



Until your feet hit the floor.




Bend the knees and lower yourself all the way to the floor.




Hooray!



Want to see it again? Well of course because she's just so cute about it...



Photobucket

On the Lake

Monday, August 23, 2010

Cayman got sick on Wednesday and went into the hospital. But the Saturday before that she was feeling wonderful and we were enjoying a day out on the lake with our friends Kevin and Barb.

I did not get a chance to upload photos from that beautiful day before last week's hospital stay, so I am playing catch up now.

Cruising around the lake slowly. It was quiet that day.



Cayman snuggled up on my shoulder and looked around. And did you notice, she was wearing her glasses! Before she went into the hospital we had made great progress in that area.




That goofy face Cayman is making cracks me up!



Okay, enough slow cruising on the lake. Time to get the life jackets on and go for some speed.










A big smile was on Cayman's face. She still loves the lake as much as she did last year!


But possibly her most favorite thing was driving the boat herself...

Headed Home

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Bye-bye Hospital

Happy Sounds Coming From Our Corner

During this hospital stay, Cayman has three other roomies. It's been noisy except for our little corner of the room.

Cayman was quiet.

So quiet.

Then she went to surgery and her shunt was replaced.

Look out.

Our once noiseless corner is now beautifully filled with the sounds of her giggles and toys playing.

It makes my heart soar.


This balloon was given to Cayman by the 9 year old girl in the bed directly across from hers...





The Wonders a Bath can Do

Before:




After:

We Prayed, He Answered...I'm so Glad

Friday, August 20, 2010

Cayman's repeat CT scan today showed her ventricles increased slightly more in size. After reviewing the scans the team from neurosurgery made their presence at Cayman's bedside to get a closer evaluation of how she was doing.

From yesterday to today we had seen an increase in her sleepiness but much less vomiting. So she seemed to be getting better in one sense but worse in another way too. But when the Neurosurgeon tried to wake her up and she did not arouse, the room took on a new level of seriousness. She did finally wake up but it took many painful pinches and squeezing toes before she finally cracked open her eyes just slightly.

That was a hard moment. Scary. It showed how badly Cayman's condition was worsening.

Cases were bumped and she was put next in line for the operating room.

Indeed, it was a shunt malfunction. *sigh* But to be completely honest, I felt relieved. Carrying on each day without knowing what was wrong felt way worse than just knowing and getting the problem fixed.

The part of my heart that sinks over the need for yet another shunt revision is the part that resides in our life at home. I wrote yesterday about trying to find normalcy in each day. It's a fine balance between productive cautiousness and living in fear. A shunt malfunction is always a possibility. The last 3 months have me feeling jumpy...4 shunt related surgeries that close together.

I know the seriousness and the deep anguish that came from holding my lifeless Cayman in my arms due to a shunt failure. My mind will never let me forget the grief that stole my breath away in those moments back in May when her heart stopped beating.

And to be honest, I don't want to completely forget because that memory holds me in a place that has me never taking simple things for granted and there's beauty in that.

So while I am painfully learning a deeper truth to how unpredictable life really can be, I am also learning the value in Pollyanna's "Glad Game". Have you ever watched that movie? It was a favorite of mine as a child.

And today I am just glad that my little Cayman survived through another scary shunt failure.

And so did I.



Some pictures from Yesterday

in the ambulance





We forgot Cayman's two favorite toys that always go to bed with her. Mike found this toy in the hospital's play room. She has one just like it at home. The familiarity seemed to comfort her.

She fell asleep holding tightly to the blue star.

Waiting in the Hospital

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I keep going over each symptom in my mind and searching for clues. Is this a shunt failure? Is it something else? Cayman remains the same - very sick. I am trying to deny the discouragement that is creeping up. I am tired, frustrated, and hoping. Hoping for something...a fix...some answers...that will make Cayman feel better. But a deeper hope runs within me for us to know the ease of a fabulously working shunt for a long time. Like I mean - Forever!

Forever sounds real good.

And I feel the hope that maybe this time it is not related to her shunt. The urine test came back with small traces of leukocytes but it's possible it was not a clean catch since it was a bag and not done through a catheter. But if it is just a bladder infection, what a simple fix! She is being started on an antibiotic to see if it makes any difference in Cayman's condition. If she gets better than perhaps we found the source of Cayman's sickness. But if not, we continue the search. The plan is to repeat her head CT scan tomorrow and take a look at her ventricle sizes again.

My mind feels caught in a swirl wind of life's unpredictable episodes and how I can find normalcy in each day when this can always be a possibility that pops up suddenly. As parents we try to protect our children from those things that pose a threat to them. We baby proof the house. We rescue them before they get another step closer to the top of a stair case. But I can't protect Cayman from shunt failures. I am struggling with how little control I have over this. But in the midst of it God is showing me His sovereignty. He is showing me that I don't need to be in control of it. Because He is and He knows.

I need to remember that. And even more importantly, trust it - always.

Hospital Stay Number...ah...I've Lost Count

It would seem that trips to the emergency room have become sort of a routine for our sweet little Cayman.

She was admitted into the hospital yesterday evening. Cayman got sick at home and we left immediately for Ann Arbor's E.R. We traveled just an hour and her condition began to worsen. A call to 911 quickly brought an ambulance to us by the side of the road. Lights and sirens promptly transported us the rest of the way to the U of M hospital.

She continues to vomit, sleep continuously, as well as a small amount of fluid has accumulated around the shunt. These are all objective symptoms that this could be a shunt malfunction. HOWEVER, the CT scan shows her ventricles only slightly larger. So slightly that some do not even read it as any enlargement.

SO...

It might not be a shunt malfunction.

Maybe?

Blood work, urine testing, etc. are being done trying to find or rule out the possibility of any infections. But there is no fever present. So that does not quite fit either.

She is just very, very sick but we can't figure out why.

So frustrating.

Niagara Falls Vacation: The WaterPark

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

The morning we left Niagara Falls to travel back home we said good-bye to all our hydro friends except for one family - the Soldatke's. They're from Nebraska and since they would be traveling through Northwest Ohio we decided to caravan the journey west together, making a stop in Toledo, Ohio. We live just an hour from Toledo, but a chance to have another day with the Soldatke's was too good to pass up. So we booked rooms for our two families at a waterpark hotel and had a blast!


Click on photo to view in full screen.



Enjoying the very warm, relaxing heated pool. It put Matthew to sleep.




Mason.




Mike had lots of more fun with the waterproof camera...

Megan, Steve, and Micah.




That would be Mike.




Megan and Mason.




A pregnant belly shot.



This is the red slide. It kind of flushes you like a toilet bowl - swirling you around before emptying you into a hole. Well, you just got to see it for yourself...watch below.

video
That was Jill getting "flushed".


The red "toilet bowl" slide is suspended a few feet above a swimming pool. So when it flushes you through its opening you fall into a swirling pool of water and you swim to the exiting stairs. Or if you're like Jill you cling to the side and move along its current quickly trying to show no signs of struggle so the lifeguards don't blow their whistle and jump in to rescue you. :)



Video of Cayman and Daddy going down the little kiddie slide...

video




Mike has been getting Cayman ready for the Buckeye football season that is about to start. She already can signal "touchdown"...so what else is there to know? The O-H-I-O of course! She doesn't consistently perform it but I was trilled to get it on video to prove that she will and can do it when that little mind wants to...

video



And these vacation series always end with a sleeping picture...Because you know, all that fun is plain exhausting!


The End.