Cayman's repeat CT scan today showed her ventricles increased slightly more in size. After reviewing the scans the team from neurosurgery made their presence at Cayman's bedside to get a closer evaluation of how she was doing.
From yesterday to today we had seen an increase in her sleepiness but much less vomiting. So she seemed to be getting better in one sense but worse in another way too. But when the Neurosurgeon tried to wake her up and she did not arouse, the room took on a new level of seriousness. She did finally wake up but it took many painful pinches and squeezing toes before she finally cracked open her eyes just slightly.
That was a hard moment. Scary. It showed how badly Cayman's condition was worsening.
Cases were bumped and she was put next in line for the operating room.
Indeed, it was a shunt malfunction. *sigh* But to be completely honest, I felt relieved. Carrying on each day without knowing what was wrong felt way worse than just knowing and getting the problem fixed.
The part of my heart that sinks over the need for yet another shunt revision is the part that resides in our life at home. I wrote yesterday about trying to find normalcy in each day. It's a fine balance between productive cautiousness and living in fear. A shunt malfunction is always a possibility. The last 3 months have me feeling jumpy...4 shunt related surgeries that close together.
I know the seriousness and the deep anguish that came from holding my lifeless Cayman in my arms due to a shunt failure. My mind will never let me forget the grief that stole my breath away in those moments back in May when her heart stopped beating.
And to be honest, I don't want to completely forget because that memory holds me in a place that has me never taking simple things for granted and there's beauty in that.
So while I am painfully learning a deeper truth to how unpredictable life really can be, I am also learning the value in Pollyanna's "Glad Game". Have you ever watched that movie? It was a favorite of mine as a child.
And today I am just glad that my little Cayman survived through another scary shunt failure.
And so did I.
We Prayed, He Answered...I'm so Glad
Friday, August 20, 2010
Posted by Kristen at 11:04 PM
Labels: hospital, shunt revision
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9 Showin' Comment Love:
I love that smile - she is a true miracle!! There is not a day go by that I don't think about Cayman and thank God for her she is living proof that we have an amazing God!! I'm so glad that you guys got your answers today and she is back to her self!! I'm glad that you and Mike are her parents - she has made it this far because she has two of the best parents that God could have given her! You guys are amazing and have done an awesome job with Cayman! We love you guys - we hope you all get to sleep in your own beds tomorrow!! :) Lots of love!!
It's so wonderful to see her smile! I pray that this is her last revison.
And we will keep on praying for dear little Cayman.... Take care!
Well, I am sorry that she has had to go through another surgery, but thank heavens for good doctors and a reliable diagnosis. I will pray that this will be her last shunt surgery for a long long time. Quick recovery to you, sweet Cayman!
I just continue praying for you all!!!
There's that smile:) You continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I'm happy that the doctors were able to figure this out and treat her so quickly. You are amazing to continue to go through this with Cayman. God truly chose the right woman to be her mommy:) I hope this is your last trip to Ann Arbor for awhile!
It's so good to see her doing better. Shunt malfunctions suck - plain and simple! Happy you got an answer, though. Praying for a quick recovery.
Oh Kristen, you know I would rather deal with hand foot and mouth disease repeatedly than a shunt malfunction! Thank you for being so sweet even though what we're going through is *nothing* in comparison with your sweet family's ordeal!
I'm so grateful for your answered prayers! Cayman is such a joy!
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