Video, Day 10 ~ Newborn Cayman

Life is interesting in that you can try to plan but you can not always control what’s going to happen.

Three years ago I had it all planned out. I was going to become a mom.

That part did work out eventually, but very little went according to my plans.

For the first 5 weeks of my pregnancy I walked around in pure bliss, feeling complete joy knowing that I had a tiny person living and growing inside of me. It was every bit as beautiful of an experience I hoped it would be.

Then I was hit with the dreadful “morning” sickness that instead of coming and going just in the mornings, stayed with me all day and all night. I became confined to my bed, trying everyday to meet the challenge of keeping enough liquids down so I would not be hospitalized. I called my doctor several times and he kept reassuring me everything was fine, and some of the healthiest babies he sees come from the sickest pregnancies.

I got through those sick days by counting down to the next scheduled ultrasound appointment. Seeing my baby up on that monitor gave me strength to get through each miserable day with a smile on my face.

Little had I planned that that next ultrasound would deliver very dark and grim news.

I heard words like…hydrocephalus, brain damage, water on the stomach, and one kidney.

I was terrified. I became filled with grief, heartache, and confusion.

I held onto Cayman’s ultrasound pictures...touching them, hugging them. She felt so far away, out of my arms reach, yet she was right there, tucked warmly away inside of me. It was strange to have her so near, yet she felt so far.

I prayed for God to be nearer to me than the terror I felt. I knew He could fix it. He was powerful enough to make my baby girl all better!

Oh boy, did I beg Him!!

He faithfully sat and listened as I poured out my heart over and over again.

Even though I never had a moment where I felt it was going to be all better and things would go according to my plans, God filled me with peace.

I didn’t know how I would get through it, but I knew I would. I think that is what peace is in the mist of a storm.

Today, Cayman is 14 months old! She survived; I survived, but more than just survival came the learned lessons of trust, complacency, and happiness. I love where life has taken me. I am truly happy. The vital key to all that gain is not because God fixed everything and made it go according to my plans, but because I trusted Him with His plans.

Watching Cayman live and grow has been an indescribable experience. She is perfect in every way. Raising a child like her has taught me to find the joy and beauty in life’s journeys.

I can truly say I do not regret knowing that kind of pain and heartache I experienced. It has made the joy that I feel now all the more sweeter. It has made all the things Cayman learns and does all the more exciting.

The final video I want to share with you in this movie series is not a recent video, but rather the beginning of Cayman’s journey in this world.

It is the first minutes of her life, shortly after she was born.

I chose to include this video because in everything Cayman does, the image of her when she was first born plays in my memory, and I am completely astonished by her accomplishments. She has come so far.

When I watch this video I feel the grace of God, His hand on Cayman, performing a miracle that only He can do.

A baby girl that defied all odds....

A hydrocephalus so severe the Neurosurgeon said it was one of the worse he has ever seen in a baby girl...

Anomalies so serious the medical team was prepared for anything...

But she was alive!

And breathing on her own!

It was a miracle!

"Thank you, my dearest Mike, even with all the worry and chaos taking place, you thought to turn on the camera and record it all so I would not "miss" it. I love you!"

Have a happy weekend!!