I haven't had a lot of time for writing lately. Our calendar is full! Last week Mike was very frustrated because it was difficult for him to find time to do his necessary job hunting. We are trying to rearrange and push appointments back as much as we can, but yet we have to get in as much of it as possible while we still have this insurance. We have reached our maximum out of pocket so in hopes to save we're trying to get in as many appointments under this coverage.
My attitude through all of this is less than desirable. I'm so grateful Mike is very forgiving. So many times I have raised my voice more than I ever meant to. I would think to myself, "Wow, that's not the way I want to sound. Let me try that again." I would apologize and reset my tone and my words. That sounds better.
I was with my little sister Madison the other day. She was in desperate need of a nap and her attitude reflected that. When I spoke to her she responded back to me very harshly. I calmly told her, "I know you are tired but you can still be nice."
As soon as I said it I thought, "Whoa. Did I just to say that to her or was that meant for me?" I guess it was a message we both needed.
The weight of our cares these days are more than our share. Things were heading in a positive direction for us...Cayman's health was stable and we were seeing less Doctors each week. Mike and I had met with a financial adviser to get a professional direction on how to compile all our debt so that we can get our finances back into a comfortable area. I was so gitty about it. I know it is still several years away before we can afford it, but our goal is to have a home of our own again. The job loss pushes that back even further. The homemaker in me just breaks. Now Cayman is falling behind in her vision, hearing, and motor skills. I'm tired. I'm not sleeping well. But I realize I have a choice, every second of each day, to serve my Lord. I can honor Him with my speech, with my thoughts, and with the way I love those around me. With every moment there is another opportunity. It's up to me...it's my choice.
Mike and I were reading Philippians 4 tonight. I found verses 8 and 9 to be particularly helpful:
...whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things...put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Whenever I choose to put into practice my kind words...I am more at peace
Whenever I choose to put into practice positive thoughts...I am more at peace.
I can do this no matter what my attitude is...no matter what my circumstance is.
I say that as my own cheering section.
I can do this.
I can do this.
It's a choice. And I choose to be nice no matter how tired I am.
It's My Choice
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Posted by Kristen at 10:57 PM
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6 Showin' Comment Love:
Kristen, your strength is admirable, and inspiring.
On Monday nights Donald and I have 'Family Home Evening' with our girls. It is a chance for us to sit together as a family and for Donald and I as parents to teach our children of our faith as well as life lessons.
Last Monday we did a whole lesson on 'choices' and really emphasized the fact that they make many choices every day. Some are big and others are little. But we really wanted them to understand that they are in charge of themselves, their attitudes, their choices. This past week I have been giving them reminders about the things we spoke about. Once during the week Lorelai said, "Mommy! I made a good choice!".
Life does throw us many curve balls. Life isn't perfect...it isn't supposed to be. Throughout our journey here on Earth we must prove to our Father in Heaven that we will be obedient and Christ-like, no matter what the circumstance. And when you stop and think about the big picture...of life beyond this earthly existance, the problems that we face don't seem quite so overwhelming. I find that when I put my faith and trust in Christ, I feel comfort and peace.
Thanks for a beautiful post. Cayman is so lucky to have you as a mother. You are incredibly wise and she will watch you, learn from you, and follow in your footsteps.
Hmm...I wrote my own post on choices...last night...interesting.
Hang in there girly....one of my most favorite qualities is...being intentional! This says so much about your character...God so completely honors that.
I pray for peace, direction, and patience as you walk this leg of your journey....
walking with you,
amber
We are praying with and for you, Kristen! Your sorta have your own little cheering section way over here in Texas! (Tough to hear us, but we're TOTALLY rooting for you guys!)
You've said this (or something just like it) before, so I know you already know...but sometimes it's still good to hear: God has a perfect place and a perfect plan for your family through all of this. (I'm probably preaching to myself too): God's using theses events, these circumstances, this very valley, as the best path to where he wants you (and me, different circumstances) to be. I was telling my girls that life is kinda like a nature hike...it's not really all about the destination, even though there are times along the way when that's the main motivation to keep plugging away. But if you really look (sometimes only in retrospect), really cool things emerge along the way, even in the dark and ugly places...a moss-covered rock, some nifty mushrooms, brightly covered bugs (best left outside, but interesting none-the-less)...sometimes in the scariest, darkest places that we hurry to get past.
Ok, end of the Shannon-sermon. (Think I could pursue a career in motivational speaking? Haha!)
I'm praying specifically that you will feel the refreshment of His strong hand in yours, the comfort of His presence to give you confidence, that the very breath of His peace will fill you...and Mike. =)
Love you guys, and lots of shout-outs from TX!
What an incredible reminder! Our Sunday School lesson yesterday was about how the the mouth speaks the overflow of the heart. I noticed my heart is just nasty sometimes.
Praying for you...especially if the Bucks continue like they are. ha ha Just kidding.
Kris, that was such a great reminder!! I have been struggling majorly with one thing lately and once again u have touched my life!! It seems God always knows how to use u in my life!! U r an amazing friend!! Thank you soo sooo much!! I love u!!
Valerie
Bless your hearts. I remember vividly when 27 years ago I had a 20 month old and a newborn baby. My husband was laid off. I was a mess. He was off for 11 months. He took classes. He did side jobs. I took a job cleaning the local post office. I too found myself on edge. You are far wiser than I. You are reeling yourself back in.
I pray Mike will find an even better job and it will lead you to wonderful care for Cayman. And of course that you will have your dream of home ownership again
p.s. We chose not to continue on with the purchase of the home on 5 acres. I am still dreaming.
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