I'm not skilled to understand

Sunday, February 17, 2008

I finished Cayman's green hat already. Instead of going to bed last night I stayed up and worked on it. Mike's working his night shift on the weekends now. It's not so bad. He works 12 hour shifts on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights. Then he has the weekdays off. We actually have a lot more time together with this schedule. And then on the weekends I'm with my family or his. I feel a lot less lonely than I did when we were in Chesterton. However, I have become very undisciplined at getting to bed at a decent hour with Mike gone at night. But I figure, what's the point on having a schedule when Cayman is going to come and change it anyways. She is getting so big! My stomach is really starting to stretch and feel uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it's a foot or something else that she has lodged up under my right rib cage, and now my ribs on that side are very sore.

We have discovered in this journey of ours, it's left us all very speechless at times, including our families, friends, and the community. It's been meantioned to me that many people have been thinking about us but don't know what to say. I totally understand this response. There really isn't much to say. I've listened to Aaron Shust's song "My Savior My God" a lot.

I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I thought I would share what we love hearing from people....

  • they are praying for Cayman and us
  • they are so excited to meet her
  • She is gonna be the sweetest and a little miracle no matter what
  • She's a strong little person to have made it this far
  • what a blessing she is
  • they understand it's been a difficult time, but yet we still look forward to having her
  • We're going to be awesome parents

We love hearing that our baby girl is going to be loved and accepted, and people are excited for us to be having a baby. It's still ok to congratulate someone even if their baby is born with a birth defect. I know every baby is a miracle...and maybe I'm biased but I feel Cayman is even more of a miracle because when I think of all the things that have went wrong in the growth of her tiny body and yet she is still living and striving I am amazed. And even at our darkest moment, which was after our first appointment in Ann Arbor when her list of anomalies grew to a great length, I said to Mike "God's not done yet". And I still feel that. I can't help but wonder, did she have a heart defect and God made it better? Was this baby really expected not to live and now it looks more promising because of God? I really am not skilled to understand what God has willed, what God has planned.

3 Showin' Comment Love:

Anonymous said...

Hi Kris - One more month and Cayman will be here!! I can't wait. I love it that your belly is starting to get bigger - you will have to take pictures. :O) I think God has done many things in Cayman that we don't know - I'm sure some of them we will never know. Cayman is a very strong little girl - that might not be so good when she is a teenager! :o) She has beat a lot of odds and she isn't even here yet - think of what great things she is going to do when she does get here. :O) It will be exciting to see what God will do with her and all the ways that he will use her. I think God has big plans for Cayman.
Now the countdown really begins - you can start counting days instead of months! :O) I love you Kris!! I can't think of 2 better parents for Cayman then you and Mike! :O)
Love ya!

Mike said...

I love my girls!

Donald, Lisa, and Co. said...

I truly understand what you mean in this post. There are probably so many miracles that God has created for Cayman already. We feel this way with Elisabeth....who knows how things might have been without all the prayers and blessings. I am sure Cayman is being blessed due to your great faith and optimism :)