22 days until Cayman is born!!! It's going to be here quick, especially with having so much to do between now and then!!! I've never been so nervous for anything in my life like I am for Cayman's birth. I want to be there for and with Cayman as much as I can be, and she will likely not be able to come to my hospital room, so I will need to be strong enough to go to her in the NICU. Then when I'm discharged from the hospital it will be of a challenge I'm sure. I will no longer have my own room with a bed in it to go back and rest, but I know I won't want to leave the hospital to go back to the hotel or Ronald McDonald house to rest. I don't even know how to prepare for how hard its going to be to suddenly have Cayman not with me wherever I go. I pray so hard my baby recovers so well from her 2 surgeries, and she has no problems learning to eat, and will be out of the hospital and at home with us within 2 weeks! It's going to be so great to hold her and see her for ourselves, not just through ultrasound pictures. We'll be able to take our own pictures of her. When I was making our hospital packing list the digital camera charger was at the top of the list. I'm sure the camera will be on constantly!! I've had a dream that when Cayman was being born I had forgotten to charge the camera batteries and we didn't get any pictures! That would be a nightmare!
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I hope you don't mind my constant comments and comparisons to Elisabeth.....it's just that reading your blog entries exactly duplicate all the feelings and experiences that I was having just 5 months ago. So I hope it can bring some sort of comfort knowing that there are others who have gone through these same things and survived :)
It is hard when you get discharged from the hospital and the baby doesn't. I remember that I felt like I was getting cheated out of those first moments with her. And when I was in the NICU with her I felt like I was being WATCHED for my every move and I just couldn't enjoy snuggling her like I wanted. But I tried to remember to look at the bright side: She was alive, the surgery went well, she was rcovering well, I wasn't having to change all the poopy diapers yet, and the nurses were having to be up with her in the middle of the night - not me. I know that my list of pro's didn't outweigh the con's in this circumstance, but it was important to be positive.
I just remembered a card that my boss gave me towards the end of my pregnancy (I work at Hallmark..how perfect, right?). I thought you would appreciate what it says:
Praying for you-
Sometimes it's hard to understand why God allows us to go through certain situations...but please remember that, no matter what, God is there with you through it all and that others who care are keeping you in their prayers.
"Call unto Me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not" jeremiah 33:3
Take care, you and Cayman are in our thoughts and prayers.
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