I want so much to understand God's heart. There are so many email forwards floating around out there telling of some great miraculous healing story God has done in someone's life and how amazing God is for it. While I do praise Him and rejoice with those families, I can't help but feel that is not where God's miracles stop. Perhaps He's a miracle worker much larger than we can see or understand. I've questioned God why doesn't He completely heal Cayman so that not a single anomaly is traceable within her body. What is His plans? Why can't my child live life to the fullest? Then a thought pops into my head. "Who says Cayman won't live life to the fullest...perhaps more than most." She's already accomplished so much. Let me tell you about my little miracle.
She smiled today.
And it was not because God healed her. Why would she be so full of smiles? She's been so miserable. You can see it in her eyes. Her head is almost the size it was when she was born, her skull bones have finger width gaps between them, her scalp veins are very prominent from the pressure, her soft spot is completely bulging from all the extra fluid build up, she rubs her eyes with the back of her hand often because of the pressure pushing on them.
But she smiled today.
And it was not because God took all this away, but because God has given her a great gift...the gift of love and laughter no matter what comes her way. Is that not so much larger in life to carry with ya than anything else? I count it a great miracle if one can learn how to "live well, laugh often, love much". My how that renews my angry spirit!! My prayer today is, "God teach her Daddy and me how to encourage and grow this beautiful thing you have naturally taught Cayman, so that she never loses it." 
Cayman's Life Motto...Live Laugh Love
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Posted by Kristen at 11:11 PM
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10 Showin' Comment Love:
Your heart for your little girl is so beautiful. I am tearing up as I read what you just wrote. You are amazing and a blessed woman! While we are not facing the same challenges as your family, I too often wonder what God's plan is. I pray God's abundant blessings on you, your husband and your beautiful little girl. God has a plan and while it may be hard to see now He is in control. God bless you every day!
Ann
That is so sweet! Thank you for sharing from you heart. Cayman is so blessed to have you as her wonderful Mommy. I have come to the place of being thankful for all that Miles has gone through. Our entire family has learned so much about who God is and how amazing his plans are for us. It is so hard to watch your little one in pain, but God is teaching us so much, isn't he? I'm praying for the fluid to regulate without surgery- so everyone can feel better :)
Kris - I feel that you & Mike do live this out already! You ones are human parents who rightfully hurt for your precious darling baby girl & there is nothing wrong with that. Yea, we all have room for growth - & you two have such beautiful hearts that God is molding & utilizing each & every day even through this blog. So proud of you!
Beautiful post! There is so much we don't understand. But we all know that Cayman is a huge blessing no matter what she will be able to do. She really sounds like she is doing so great!! I hate that her shunt has failed again. I will pray for you all tonight. Love to you all. Kacey
That was a beautiful post.
I'm sorry to hear that little Cayman is in the hospital this week too. These little ones are so amazing!
Thank you for sharing your lovely insight with us. Cayman is such a strong, and special child to be able to endure the things that she has....and come out with a smile on her face. She sets an example to all of us about facing our life challenges with a positive attitude. She is such a blessing! Good luck today :)
Hard to concentrate here at work - my thoughts and prayers are with Cayman & you ones. Keep Cayman kisses from Grandma and tell her I love and miss her!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Kristen,
Thank you for your beautiful post. You can tell that God truley lives in your hearts. Sometimes it's so hard to understand God's plan for our little one's; isn't it. and we may never know; at least this side of heaven. You are inspiration to me! (and i'm sure to many others)
Jill
Kris, your words are amazing! I hope the surgery is going well. I pray that this will be the last time Cayman needs a shunt revision. I miss you guys. the house seems so empty with out you here! bring Cayman home soon so Aunt Sam can hold her again!! love you all!! :):)
How blessed you are Kristin to recognize the truth that even though, in the eyes of the world our disabled children may seem damaged, to us in many ways they couldn't be more perfect.
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